A Quick Lesson in Math for Donald Trump

Now caught on tape telling Bob Woodward that he knew how deadly serious the Coronavirus was all along, President Trump is telling the American people that he misled us for our own good.  You know, so that we wouldn’t panic.

We can only imagine what would have happened had we, the American people, panicked. You think the toilet paper shortage was bad in March?! Oh my God!!!

Fortunately, for all of us, Trump played it all perfectly!  Yesterday, he reminded us once again, that because of his actions “we saved millions of U.S. lives.” Millions!

I just hope Americans can fully appreciate what that means. First of all – millions. Plural! That could be anywhere from two million at a bare minimum all the way up to each-and-every 331 million of us. What a disaster that would be!

But let’s be optimistic about this.  Only two million more dead Americans.  Y’know, if Trump hadn’t taken the actions he has taken.

So, that means that instead of a mere 194,000 dead Americans out of the 904,000 globally, we’d have 2,194,000 dead!!!  That would be just over three times the current total fatalities worldwide. (Mr. President, I don’t know what the guy who took your SATs got on his math, but if you subtract our 194,000 from the 904,000 worldwide, you get 710,000 dead in the rest of the world, which is just shy of a third of the 2,194,000 American dead we would have had if you hadn’t done everything you did for us.)

Now, I am not exactly sure what the President counts as the actions he took.  I suppose he could mean anything he did. Maybe he means those “millions of U.S lives” would have been lost if he had just done absolutely nothing. You know, just continue to have rallies and refused to talk about it to anyone except Bob Woodward.  I admit, I’m having trouble wrapping my head around what he’s saying here precisely.

The point is that Trump saved at least two million of us somehow. And we should all be grateful for that! Mr. President, the two-to-three-hundred-and-thirty-four-million remaining Americans thank you!



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